Phosphenes

Subject - A letter to my "The One"

 I don't know whether you will read this on your own or I will make you read it, whatever be the case-

Hello there Sweet heart!

This has been a long time waiting. I've had quite a bit of ups & downs, pain & suffering, mostly self-inflicted wounds on my way to you. I don't know if we've met yet, or if you're going to be coming in my life, but I know that I am excited and wish we could have spent this time together. I'm writing this to let you know how I felt before you came along.

I have heard people talking about how there partner should be or what specific qualities they want him/her to have and here I am who has no idea how his "the one" should be. I think by deciding how your love should be even before meeting them acts as a barrier in completely accepting the person that they are coz they might be different in some or lots of ways. It is not upto us to determine when our romantic partner will arrive. Love does not come in one kind of package. We limit love by saying "you're not welcome here unless you look a certain way or have certain qualities." This belief perpetuates a feeling of emptiness - rather than the recognition of our true wholeness.

I will celebrate your uniqueness with you, the grand festival that you will be. To love someone means to help them reveal the greatest version of themselves. Treat a person as she is and she remains as she is. Treat a person as she could be, and she will become what she should be. I will treat you in a way which will help you to become what you would want yourself to become. I really want to see who you are right now but I can't. The things that our heart deserves will not arrive quickly but they will when we are ready.

The day we find each other, I don't want myself to fall in love with you instantly. That will be no fun. I would love to walk in love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way, embracing every moment I spend with you. Before actually getting a chance to keep my lips on yours I would love to wish to be the pen which you are chewing, before actually getting a chance to put that strand of hair which is coming on your face behind your ears, I would love to just stare at you and say to myself that "Damn! How can just one strand of hair make her so much more beautiful. This girl is trouble." Like we cook the food items on the low flame so that they absorb all the spices and things properly and get cooked completely, in that way by these events I would love to fall in love with you slowly, completely. I will fall in love with you the way rain falls on the first day of summer. Recklessly and unexpectedly. I do believe in faith and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we'd choose anyway. And I will choose  you, in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I will find you & I will choose you.

When you love someone, they become a part of who you are. In your head, they are in the disco with you when you're listening don't you need somebody, they are there to offer you shoulder when you are listening kuch is tarah or in the bed with you while listening love me like you do. They're in everything you do. You know their dreams because their nightmares pierce your heart & their good dreams are your dreams too. You know that they are not perfect, you know their flaws, the deep-down truth of them, the shadows of their secrets, and they don't frighten you away; in fact you love them more for it, because you don't want perfect. You want them. That's the beauty of love. That's why love is called the most unselfish thing not only in this world but any world.

I firmly believe that it's the small, little things which seem to be insignificant make any type of bond more significant. They are the one which lay a strong foundation for the life-long relations .
I will always be one call away. If you will need someone to talk to. If you will need someone to listen to and understand you. I'll be someone who will look at you and know that you are good enough. Someone who will not let you struggle on whether or not you're worth it, because you will be. Someone who will never see you as too much of this, too much of that, someone who will embrace all your experiences and know that if it wasn't for them, you wouldn't be as strong, as incredible.

I'll be someone who will never make you feel like you have to be my monumental idea of who you should be. Someone who will understand that the way you talk, the way you dress, the way you carry yourself is what makes you unique and unique is beautiful. Someone who will look at you, love your bad parts as much as I'll love your good parts. Someone who will stay with you during the stormy days and assure you that things will better. Someone who will inspire you, encourage you, push you beyond your own limits. Someone who will never let you give up on your dreams or on yourself. Someone who will trust your talents and abilities when you can't trust your own. Someone who will never let you cheat on yourself or your parents. Someone who will love you at your most critical moments, even the moments when you can't love yourself.

I'll be someone who will see beyond the outer, who will see smart, beautiful person who fiercely fights to enjoy life. Someone who will recognise you and your strength.

I'll be someone who will see you and know that you are worth so much more than meets the eye. Someone who will love you in your entirety.

Maybe our love won't be like they show in the Bollywood movies. Maybe there won't be a grand ending, an airport run, me saying " palat palat palat" and then you'll turn. Maybe it'll be as simple as breakfast on a weekday. You'll be drinking coffee or tea, I'll be eating cereal, I'll look at you, you'll look at me and we'll just know.

I will kill the spiders and ask you to fight the lizards for me. I literally hate them. I will share my fries with you when you've finished all yours and are still hungry. I will snatch your burger when you would have half eaten it coz I absolutely love burgers, sharing is caring, no. I won't ever pop my collar. I will never be rude to your tummy when I hear it growl and gurgle. I promise to bend down and reply respectfully. I will eat the corn when we order the supreme pizza. I will kiss the papercuts, and the door-slammed finger, and the counter-bumped hip. Not because I have a special blessings from god to cure pain by kissing but to let you know that I care. Nothing satisfy us more than feelings of others. I'll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. I will let you win at arm-wrestling, sometimes. Other times I will not. I will smudge your lipstick by kissing but leave your mascara intact. I will go faster. Harder. I will pull when you want and tease you when you don't. I will treat you like you mean everything to me and tease you like you mean nothing to me and I won't be sorry for this. I will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. Not always. Not on schedule. Just whenever I want to. Whenever I think you need one or seven. I'm quite moody. I'll offer you t-shirt which I'll be wearing to wipe your tears and nose when you are done crying and give you a tight hug to make you feel better. I will hold your hand but above all. I will love you. I will love you. I will love you.

I will love your sadness, your passion, your chaos, your magic, your wildness, your laughter, your brilliance. Everything. Everything you will be.

So, until we meet have fun. Be crazy, get into trouble but not the big ones. Fall hard and get back up. Laugh hard. Cry when you need to. Do your thing. Make amazing memories so you can tell me about them. I'll need the help of your vision to achieve my dreams. So,I say here's to silly arguments and hot dates, here's to every place we'll visit and every sport&movie we will watch, here's to good and bad days, here's to exploring the world with you & loving you, here's to getting old together and never letting go.

Happily and patiently awaiting your arrival : you are fabulous and I love you.

PS :- Be ready to get your ass kicked for coming late in my life.